God Only Knows
by Aquas Vampiro
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella she may be broken beyond repair. Can Jacob fix her? Will Bella fall in love with Jacob? Will she die for Edward but, live for Jacob? Jacob&Bella to *God-only-knows*&Bella Please R&R Rated T for grim concepts and language
1. Blood Loss

**A/N Ok so I may have gone crazy but I decided to reflect some of my life into Bella's life.**

**This is a month after Edward left Bella and she is in a hell of a lot more depression than in New Moon.**

**Please R&R**

Clover

* * *

**Bella Swan**

"_He_ left me," was all I could say. That and simple, blatant "yes' and "no". No conversation could be held with my lips. The lips _he_ kissed. And with that final though I broke into my normal choking sobs.

"I loved _him,_and that filthy liar took advantage of me," I said through tears at the now broken mirror. I threw my hairbrush at the small mirror in my room to get the glass. Now my wrists were flowing with the blood that apparently sang for_him._

"La tua cantante, Aro, la tua cantante," I whispered at my gushing wrists. My heart began to pound when my wrists bled longer than normal. I simply switched to my legs next. Dragging the glass down the length of my thigh and calve. With a broken sigh my leg began to bleed as well.

"Bella?" Jacob. It was my best friend. I hadn't spoken to him in awhile and I actually forgot about him. Now my thoughts were constantly filled with pain and _him._

"I'll be out in a minute or two," I called hoping for the bleeding to stop quickly. I couldn't stand for Jacob to see me like this. Not only would it hurt me, it would hurt him too.

"Bella, please come out now," Charlie pleaded with me. When I didn't respond I heard him sigh and trudge down the steps. Jacob cleared his throat at me.

"Dammit! Have some frigging patience!"

"Bella, I can smell the blood. Stop. Before I open this door."

"It's locked you idiot."

"Fine. I'll break it down and Charlie will see what you have been doing to yourself," his voice threatened me. He was quiet and concerned but, I no longer cared. I was broken. Broken like a shattered mirror or a bone that has been crushed under the tire of a car. _His_car. I broke into complete tremors of pain and fear. I looked in the mirror to see I was as pale as—no I wouldn't think it, but I did—a vampire. I lost a lot of blood this time and lost all the color I ever had. Now it was at my feet in a pan.

"I'm coming Jacob, let me get some decent clothes on," I replied dully. I grabbed a black tank top and a pair of grey pajama pants. I dumped the spilt blood down the bath drain and washed it down with cold water. I opened the door to Jacob's tearing face.

"Bella," was all he could whisper. I bowed my head. Upset and ashamed he had to see me like this. I lost it.

"I am so sorry Jacob! You can't imagine pain, no one could. And I didn't want you to see me like this...ever," I sobbed into his shoulder. He just held me close to him as a few silent tears raced down his russet skin. I looked up at him, turns out, it was the last thing I saw for a week.

* * *

**-----3 days later-----**

* * *

**Jacob Black**

She is still asleep. The doctor doesn't know when Bella, this angel, will wake up. She is sickly pale and the purple under her eyes now look a yellowish green color. Almost the way a bruise looks.

"Wake up Bella. Don't let yourself give up now," I whispered in to her hair. I couldn't stand the fact that she might die because of him. I will kill him. Whether Edward Cullen is a vampire or not.

He. Will. Die.

* * *

**-----4 days later-----**

* * *

**Jacob Black**

"Holy mother of God! She moved her hand! Bella! Bella, angel, wake up, please wake up," I said in a decently loud tone. Loud enough to get the nurse walking by to stop. I glanced at the young nurse as she shuffled quickly to get the doctor but, I quickly returned my gaze at the stirring Bella.

"Edward," was the only word she spoke out loud and then she burst into tears. I wrapped my arms around the broken angel. I began singing a lullaby to help quiet her.

Tears, don't let em' fall

Sleep, Sleep

Forget get it all

Sleep, Sleep

Hear this call

Sleep, Sleep

Keep standing tall

Sleep, Sleep

Forget it all

Sleep, Sleep

"Jacob?"

"Yes, I'm here my angel,"

"I think...I think I love...you," she whispered to me. But she seemed almost...afraid to say it. She refuses to let that filthy leech go. My heart flew though.

"I know that I love you, Bella," I whispered in her hair. Then she went limp in my arms. My heart skipped a beat. Was she dead? Then she made the slightest little noise. Her breathe came back steady and she snored a little. She began talking, in her sleep.

"Jacob...My Jacob..._He_ left me...," she winced when she mentioned anything about him when she was awake, but even as the angel slept she shuddered at the notion of his being. Then she said something that surprised me.

"I was a child and he was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was my than love, I and my Jacob Black," had she been reading Poe lately? I didn't think so but, with how reserved and depressed she's been, God only knows.

This poor angel. My poor angel. The one the Devil decided to play with and to break. She was an angel with broken wings and a torn heart. Would I be the one the splint her broken wings and to stitch up her torn heart? I want to be. Now will this girl--this angel--let me? Only time will tell. I slowly bent to kiss her forehead. And with the lightest tough of my boiling skin, she woke up.

"Jacob? Jacob," she sighed heavily.

"Angel, I mean Bella, I'm here sweetheart,"

"What happened to me? Where am I?"

"Your at the hospital," she winced but I continued, "You cut too deep and lost too much blood. You passed out and have been out for a week."

"Oh no," was all she said then I could smell that sickly sweet smell that only belonged to a vampire.

**Bella Swan**

The only thoughts that came into my head when that face peered around the corner was to run and get away.

"Oh no," was all I could get out before Jacob flared his nostrils. No doubt inhaling the scent of the blood sucker that was about to cross the threshold into my hospital room.


	2. Second Condition Hell

**A/N Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update! I DIDN"T HAVE MANY REVIEWS SO NO INSPIRATION!! So get reviewing! Otherwise no more chapters! **

**Lol I think I'm getting sick! I hope I don't...although if I do I get to write like nonstop! **

**Well remember to review! Thanks for reading and yea...**

**Clover- **

* * *

_Before: _

"_Oh no," was all I could get out before Jacob flared his nostrils. No doubt inhaling the scent of the blood sucker that was about to cross the threshold into my hospital room._

* * *

I did NOT want to see the man—no leech—that just walked in this hospital room. I was going to let him know that. 

"Get. The. HELL. Out. Of. My. Room! NOW!" In my frustration I began singing. But before I bitterly dedicated it to_ Him_

I am the walking dead heart breaker... my apologies...  
I'm happy you'll never understand...  
what it's like to be... trapped under six feet of...  
solid glass... I can see out, but no one gets in...

Screaming at the prison...  
I've locked myself into..  
I'm sorry that I'm still breathing...  
and that I'll Kill again...

but the loneliness is too much... for me to handle.  
the taste of fresh blood... pushes me on.

I.. told myself.. the constant pain..  
could ease..the tension... burning inside..  
But the nights... were cold... and the days... dragged to weeks...  
I will die... here alone... I will die..

The fear of romance.  
The pain of living.  
The joy of sorrow.  
The strength of not forgiving.

The fear of romance.  
The pain of living.  
The joy of sorrow.  
The strength of not forgiving.

God help me... I'm so tired...  
but in my dreams... the wolves ate out my soul...  
God help me... I'm so frightened...  
but in my dreams... the wolves tear out my heart...

I used to be golden... a saint in a time of sorrow...  
but then the turning came... and I kissed the sun goodbye...  
don't you get it... it's always darker in my eyes,  
the screams of my brothers.. egging me on.

"Hon, don't be angry with me, it was all my crack-head brothers fault," his words sounded hurt and he growled the last part. Now I caught a terrifying sight out of the corner of my eye. Jacob was shaking and by the look of it, he was about to _lose_ his control.

"What. The. F--"

"JACOB BLACK!" I scared him successfully and I scared the leech in my my room too.

"Watch your mouth and you TEMPER! Or else I will completely lose mine!" My temper had gotten really bad since_ he_ left me to die. I refocused my attention on the huge leech in my room.

"Bella?"

"Emmett?"

"I am so sorry, Bella. I can't believe I let him do this to you. I am going to kill him." I swear if he could cry he would have been. He seemed so much like a kicked puppy.

"Emmett, it's not your fault. I know that. I could never blame you fully," I put as much sympathy in my eyes possible for him. I felt bad for him. Then more growling echoed through room.

"Who the f--"

"Jacob! Language!"

"Well, you are so going to be swearing when you see who else is here," my face dropped.

"Emmett? Who else of your family is here?" My voice broke at the end. We all knew, however, which one I meant. I couldn't stand to see _Him._ Not right now. He may not have been here but, he is the reason I am stuck here.

"Bella, the nurses and I have discussed your condition. You may return home, but, under two conditions," the doctor sighed. Clearly he didn't agree with the decision.

"What would those be?"

"One, to have someone with you at all times. Two, to see the family outside--"

"NO! I will agree to one but hell no to the second one! I don't EVER want to see them again!" I broke down into sobs. I hoped they all heard my screaming protest. I would NOT see them again. Then I felt warm arms wrap around my shaking figure. And then I heard that cursed lullaby. Emmett.

"Emmett...shut...up...please," I sobbed harder. I hate my life. I will kill myself this time. I don't care who I'll hurt, I can't do this anymore.

"Bella!" Oh God no. "Why the hell did I just see you killing yourself?!"

"Why do you think you little backstabber?! You were my BEST FRIEND! MY SISTER!" I broke down again and just shrugged off Jacob's shaking arm. I can't do this again. I began to sing again.

I am the walking dead heart breaker... my apologies...  
I'm happy you'll never understand...  
what it's like to be... trapped under six feet of...  
solid glass... I can see out, but no one gets in...

Screaming at the prison...  
I've locked myself into..  
I'm sorry that I'm still breathing...  
and that I'll Kill again...

but the loneliness is too much... for me to handle.  
the taste of fresh blood... pushes me on.

I.. told myself.. the constant pain..  
could ease..the tension... burning inside..  
But the nights... were cold... and the days... dragged to weeks...  
I will die... here alone... I will die..

The fear of romance.  
The pain of living.  
The joy of sorrow.  
The strength of not forgiving.

The fear of romance.  
The pain of living.  
The joy of sorrow.  
The strength of not forgiving.

God help me... I'm so tired...  
but in my dreams... the wolves ate out my soul...  
God help me... I'm so frightened...  
but in my dreams... the wolves tear out my heart...

I used to be golden... a saint in a time of sorrow...  
but then the turning came... and I kissed the sun goodbye...  
don't you get it... it's always darker in my eyes,  
the screams of my brothers.. egging me on.

I simply passed out again, only this time to the sound of my own screaming and growling.

* * *

** OOHH!! Another cliffie!! What's going to happen? Any guesses?! Any ideas?! Hmmm...**

**Hint:Someone may die the next chapter! (Don't get mad, it wont be a vampire or werewolf!) **

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! **


	3. Disclaimer!

**Oops! I forgot this the last two chapters!!**

**!!THIS IS THE MAIN DISCLAIMER FOR THE WHOLE STORY!!**

**DISCLAIMER: **

_I Do Not Own The Twilight Saga Or Any Of The Characters!!_

**DISCLAIMER: **

_I Do Not Own The Song A Vampire's Lament Or The Band Atreyu!!_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**_


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